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♪♫ You've been coolin', and baby, I've been droolin', all the good times, baby, I've been misusin' ♪♫
A tale of Rock Gods, Groupies, and a love that becomes more sincere when kept secret ♪♫ Jealousy feeds the beast inside us all ♪♫

Monday, January 28, 2013

American Woman

The house was dark and quiet except for the TV. The bright screen burned Bianca's eyes and she blinked frequently, not wanting to move from the tight grip of Jimmy. He was fast asleep, as he was normally the first person to fall asleep in any situation, and his chin was on her head with his arms wrapped firmly around her shoulder like a stuffed animal. Bianca was close to falling asleep too; the BBC documentary on Princess Diana was drab and she had had a rough day at Apple wrestling with a band she had never heard of called the Cherrie Bombers. What a dumb name, she though. What was the point of misspelling "cherry?" Unless it was supposed to be "Sherrie" like the name and I've been calling them the wrong name right in front of them. Oh! Now I'm embarrassed! How could I--

Bianca jumped as the phone on the wall next to the kitchen rang obnoxiously. Quickly, she wriggled out of Jimmy's warm grasp and sprinted to the phone, hoping it wouldn't wake anyone. She grabbed the pea-green receiver off the hook and held it to her ear breathlessly. "Hello?"

"Bianca?" responded a familiar voice. "I tried calling the number you gave me but it was one number off. Is this Bianca?"

"Daphne?" Bianca asked, knowing it was her sister the second Daphne had said her name, even when her voice was very Americanized. "Daph, why are you calling so late? Is it an emergency?"

"No--"

"Then this better be good."

"Bumble-Bee, I'm coming back to Epsom! Yeah! I lost my job at this club called the CBGB and I can't afford to pay New York rent so I'm coming home! I hope there is room in your apartment. Is Mom still around? I could live with her..."

"Daph, I'm living with--" Bianca paused, recalling that J. Edgar Hoover had all the phones tapped in American, and reworded her thoughts so as not to give away Jimmy's house. "Just fly to London and I'll pick you up. There's plenty of room."

"Okay, thanks! I've been planning my flight for some time so I'll be departing early this Thursday, so expect to pick me up at 3 in the evening on Friday."

"Daphne, I can't do that, I have to work at EMI. I- I'll send my mate Jenni and Cheev-- Er, Jenni. She's blonde, sort of short in statue, wears leather pants a lot, likes exposing blouses... Green eyes--"

"Oh! That ace girl you used to bring over to the house who always got in trouble? She was my kind of person."

"Yes, Daphne," Bianca sighed. "She'll pick you up Friday at 3. Dress nicely, you know they won't let you on those planes if you're in scrubs. See you then."

Bianca slammed the phone back on the hook and growled. She hated her sister and she knew having Daphne around would make her life all the more stressful. Not to mention, she was the one to worry about with Jimmy. She'd steal him right out from under her. It was a good thing Jenni was so reliable around him.

"Who's coming?" Jimmy asked, making her jump again. She turned to face him as he leaned against the Cathedral archway.

"My sister Daphne," she growled. "Is it-- Is it okay if she lives with us for a while until she gets back on her feet?"

Jimmy was silent, making Bianca's heart hammer against her ribs. In fact, he never replied, just remained silent as he took her hand and lead her back into the living room and fell asleep again on her shoulder as Princess Diana waved at people with that stupid parade wave.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Friends

"How could you do that to the poor man!" Bianca's words echoed through my mind over and over until they developed a new meaning for a different person. She had nearly been dragged out the door with Cheever as Jimmy stood pridefully on the landing on the marble staircase, watching as Bianca sputtered and stammered after Cheever, telling him he should stay. He had packed his bags quickly and was out the door by 9 this morning. She was so upset that Jimmy had actually fired Cheever that she had moved all of her things back into her original room across from mine and refused to leave it.

Jimmy's only excuse for the firing of Cheever besides the obvious problem of funds was that, "Bianca, we don't know if this man could go to the news about us. The last thing I want is to open up more newspapers with my face on them telling some blasphemy about how I'm in a rut or some cockamamie story like that. It was for the best that Cheever leave our residence."

"But it's gear if we get a maid, right?" Robert asked. "A french one, with those little black and white dresses and heels. Oh, ho, ho! Come on, Jim, a french maid cleaning up the place. Bon agrees."

Jimmy ignored this and took Bianca's hands in his, looking into her eyes like I wished he would look in mine. "You know you mean a lot to me--"

"Save it, Page. How could you do that to the poor man?" With that, Bianca had stormed up the stairs and toward her room in a huff, leaving Jimmy to shrug as if nothing had happened and Robert to gaze after Bianca absent-mindely.

Now her final words were ringing in my ears, a witness to her anger and his collectiveness, and it had taken on a different meaning. I had a photo shoot today, and Donovan Leitch was coming over as well. I had ignored my growing love for Jimmy for a man I had only met once and was not very familiar with as a musician other than his four hits, Jennifer Juniper, Sunrise Superman,  Mellow Yellow, and Season of the Witch. I had thrown away all chances of ever getting Jimmy, especially whilst Bianca was ticked at him, just for Donovan. In my mind, I had backstabbed Jimmy, even if he didn't like me, and I felt that I owed him something although I didn't... How could I do that to the poor man?

My body took me through the motions of greeting and preparing the models for the photoshoot, but looking back, I have no recollection of it. All I remembered was asking Bonzo for permission to take some pictures in the gazebo of his garden and he had said yes. In the garden, Donovan's car had pulled in and I had called to him against my better judgement. All I got in return was a tall wave and he turned to jog up the steps into the house.

After two hours of shooting, my body once again took me through the steps of cleaning up and dismissing the models. I knew I'd have to develop the pictures and send them into Levi's, but right now all I wanted to do was follow the sounds that lead to the kitchen and the hall connecting the kitchen and the cardroom. Donovan and Jimmy sat in the kitchen. Robert and John Paul had a recording to do at the studio for a new song and were going to be gone the entire day while Bonzo was still downstairs, practicing.

"Good afternoon, Jen," Jimmy greeted merrily as he sat at the island with Donovan standing on the other side of the bar. At the pet-name, a shiver was sent down my spine and I smiled. "How did the photo shoot go?"

"Brilliant," I replied. "Levi's are nice trousers. Expensive as Hell, though. If I had a nice paying job, I'd get a pair. Afternoon, Donovan."

Donovan nodded as I sat beside Jimmy and stared at the man I so longed to see. He grinned at me and dropped his eyed while Jimmy turned to face me. "Bianca's still in her room, eh? I'm a terrible person for not feeling bad about firing Cheever. She has this thing about her... She's one of the two people who can make me feel the consequence for something so simple as sacking a man I had no intention of keeping in the first place."

"Who is the other person?" I asked, hoping he would reply that it was me.

"Me mum," he replied humorously, as if I should have been able to guess. "That takes a strong woman, mind you, to make me feel guilty for something so small and inadequate." Jimmy stood and walked around the island to stand beside Donovan, making another sandwich with the ingredients left out.

I gave an uninterested nodded and looked over at Donovan as he finished off his sandwich. "Did you two already practice?"

"Play," Jimmy corrected. "And yes. Donovan wants to show me one more thing before he takes off for Scotland, then the house will be quiet. I know how you like the quiet."

Donovan eyed me a tad disapprovingly and I hastened to make myself seem more appealing to Donovan. "No, I actually quite like the noise. I think it's a great honor to be in the same house with Led Zeppelin, and telling you not to practice is as stupid an idea as telling a mourning dove not to sing. I respect the beautiful music, but... not when I'm sleeping."

Donovan and Jimmy smiled at me before looking down at their hands. Donovan muttered something to Jimmy and turned to leave the kitchen. I excused myself and hustled after Donovan, knowing Jimmy knew that I liked the Scotsman. As the hall hosting the arches to the kitchen, dining room, and living room opened into the foyer, I caught up with him and he turned to me.

"Did I forget something?" Donovan asked, patting his pockets with a serious expression. "I should I brought a cup of water, right?"

"No, you didn't forget anything," I breathed. A stroke of courage waved through me and I added,  "Well, maybe me."

Donovan looked taken aback. With a tinge of disgust, he sighed and place his hands on my shoulders and the world seemed to slow down. Wrinkles formed between either of his eyebrows and he looked torn. "Look, Jenni, I must say that I thought it was sweet that you're interested in me, as I know you are, but... I don't believe I've cheated on my wife once in our three year marriage. I love her more than anything and I can see us living until the end of our time."

"How did you know...? Never mind. Come on, Donovan, she'd never know. We could have a secret relationship. I know you like me too. Don't be a futty-dutty! You were interested in me yesterday, I knew it."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I was only amusing you. You are beautiful, but I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize me and Linda or either of our kids. Look here, dear, don't feel down. I'd snatch you up if I weren't in a loyal engagement. I think you're chasing after the wrong guy if you think I'll leave Linda for a lady I hardly know."

"Fine," I sighed. I was used to rejection, apart from rejection on a celebrity level, and it wasn't something foreign to me. "I understand."

"Good." He gave a nervous laugh and squeezed my shoulders before kissing me on the cheek and turned to continue toward the sound room. With a sigh, I also turned, but toward the dark hall I had just left.

Jimmy stood in the doorway of the kitchen and frowned. In a second I was in his arms in the foyer, the strength and heat of him squeezing me tightly toward him. It felt like a brotherly embrace, a warm, comforting embrace that I never wanted to leave, but I didn't know why he was holding me. I wasn't complaining, not one bit, but if he thought I was sad he had another thing coming. Having not truly liked Donovan for any reason other than his looks, I didn't feel that regular breathless feeling I normally got whenever I saw Bianca and Jimmy doing anything romantic.

"Er, Jimmy," I began as Jimmy swayed us back and forth sweetly. He rested his chin on my head and I breathed in his musky cologne fondly. He was a virtually scentless man, which was quite amazing, and just the slightest smell of cologne clung to his exposed collarbone. I meant to tell him that I wasn't truly upset, and why would I be, but his embrace was so tight and inviting that I decided against it. It was tight to the point that he could have pushed all the air out of my lungs but I wouldn't care. I'd love to die in his arms and no others, know that my last breath was his and that I had died in the comfort of his arms, his scratchy, stubbly chin rested atop my head.

As we swayed onward, softly and hardly evident, Jimmy whispered, "I don't know what to do to make you feel better." Kiss me, I thought. I could feel Jimmy swallow his spit and relished in the closeness. "I apologise for the bluntness of Don. I suppose it was better than leading you on, right? I'm so sorry. Don't even think about it anymore, Mama. Just don't cry. We'll always be mates, you know that, right? Please don't cry."

"I don't cry," I snapped indignantly, closing my eyes wearily, my face pressed against his chest. Another pet name...

"That's the attitude."

Although I was a tad frustrated at the misreading of the situation of Jimmy's behalf, I was grateful for our embrace. Even if he had said "mates." He didn't understand and it irked me. I wanted him to know that I loved him and that he should love me too and that Donovan was just a small crush. But in this moment, whether or not we were friends or lovers, I wanted nothing more than to be held tightly by him.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Jennifer Juniper

Once Robert and I returned from our "date" (which was rather a nice conversation between two mates over lunch and a brisk walk around inner London), I ran into the half-bath next to the study and fixed my hair and makeup. I was thankful that I didn't wear much makeup in the first place, because it probably would have run by this time. As the last sounds of some Led Zeppelin-Donovan composition died away, I rushed to the mouth of the sound room and fixed myself before any of the four men downstairs could come up.

Jimmy was the first to emerge into the hallway, followed by Donovan and Bonzo, then John Paul. When Jimmy saw me, he gave a wild smile and grabbed my shoulders in a friendly manner for a second before leading the rest of the boys down the hall toward the foyer. I followed them, keeping tabs on Donovan. When the five of us reached the foyer, Jimmy, Robert, and John Paul got into a conversation while John Paul retreated up the stairs and on to the landing where he turned down the hall toward his room.

Donovan ignored me, examining a plant in the corner instead, until Jimmy walked over to him and escorted him to the door.

"Don't you want to get your guitar and equipment, Donovan?" I ask, hoping it sounded as nonchalant vocalized as it did in my mind. He eyed me from over his shoulder, Jimmy's arm on his back, and smiled.

"I'll be back." He grinned wider and opened the door, letting a large gust of cool wind inside, ruffling every one's long hair and just barely tussling Donovan's Beatle-length.

"For guitar, right?" I called before he closed the door behind him. He stopped and looked back again, his eyebrows raised in satisfaction.

"I'll make time for you, sweetheart, no worries."

I screwed up my face in mock confusion and responded indignantly, "I have photo shoot tomorrow out back for Levi's. I don't have time for the likes of you." The strange plan that had formulated in my seductive and persuasive mind was going perfectly as planned. I had hoped he would come back, and just hearing that he would gave me hope.

He wasn't Jimmy, but he was damn near as attractive, as hard as it was to believe, and my plan seemed fool-proof. I would do my usual tease-and-please, my way of playing hard-to-get. It had worked in ever instance throughout my life except with Jimmy, although I hadn't really applied it to him, and I knew it wouldn't fail with Donovan. The tease part was pretty self-explanatory. Tease, mistreat, test, all the hard-to-get characteristics. Then, when the man had gotten trapped in the dark seductiveness of the tease, I'd snatch him up somehow, like a Venus Fly Trap. Somehow.... I hadn't exactly thought how I would snatch Donovan up, and I hoped he would be the one to make the first move, but I knew that in the heat of the moment, something would give. Oh yes, the tease-and-please, hard-to-get seduction stage was only beginning and there was no difference in comparison with a Venus Fly Trap.

However, my plan was not specialized to the fly-- er, person--, and could fail in some circumstances. "Well, I'm glad to hear it, because I'm matrimonially obligated to hope you don't have time for the likes of me," Donovan smirked, reading my mind. I frowned and narrowed my eyes. He turned to Jimmy's inquiring face and continued, "Linda is doing just fine, by the way. Her and the kids. God bless them, every one. It's been three years now and I love her more as the days pass by. Well, thank you for having me over, Pagey. Brilliant seeing you and Bon and Jonsey again. I remember when we were all session pals back in '67, was it? Ah! Gear. I'll see you all tomorrow. Sleep well, carry on Planty." With that, he gave a nod and closed the large door behind him.

Jimmy turned to me as I stood next to the stair banister and rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Well, I suppose I should get to sacking Cheever, then?"

As Jimmy headed upstairs, I sighed and stared absent-mindedly at Robert's feet while he stood fixing the time on his watch. When he finally left the foyer with Bonzo, I sank to the steps and laid on my back tiredly, staring up at the tall domed ceiling. I couldn't have Jimmy because he and Bia were "happy together" and I couldn't have Donovan because the wanker was married. Letting out a sigh, I closed my eyes and mentally prepared myself for tomorrow.

Mothership

Guess Who's 69 Today?

A hearty Happy Birthday is due to the greatest guitarist there ever was (save for Hendrix); Jimmy, my lover! Happy 69th, Pagey :) I found a rare picture this morning to share with you all for just a joyous occasion, but blogger wants to be a bitch, so I can't upload it. So for now, here's a different rare picture. Enjoy the lovely angle:


I bet Jimmy's happy he's finally as old as his favorite number. GAH, I love him so damn much!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Try to Tide You All Over....

 
I apologize for a lack of posts, but I'm working and the holiday season has been a huge draw-back, plus I had a funeral. I've had zero work time, but I promise I'll post some things soon! Also, I'm making another blog. Another one? Jesus, that's 4! Yeah, well, I wanted to make a blog about the stories my dad has told me of his expeditions in the 70s and 80s. Anyway, enjoy this Eargasm-inspiring song. I seriously could say a million things about the awesomeness of this song and not have said enough.... it's FLABBERGASTING.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Mothership

Happy birthday John Paul Jones, the secret weapon of Led Zeppelin!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Mellow Yellow

Tuesday came and went swiftly with nearly no recollection of the day, as far as I could think. The looming Wednesday had come all too quickly and I was set today to go on a date with Robert. Coincidentally  I'd miss the arrival of another one of my favorite musicians to the manor; Donovan. For the past few weeks, Jimmy have been working fervently on learning new approaches on the guitar and Donovan was just the Scotchman to teach him some folksy plucks.

As the clock in the study chimed two times, I rose from my reading nook and set Gone With the Wind on the sill bench of the window. The date was set to take place in fifteen minutes and Robert was probably ready to leave. The nerves in my stomach clenched as I thought of going on a date with a man I knew more as a brother-- that had to be some sort of sick incest! It had to! With a long, drawn out sigh, I exited the study and debated for a minute whether or not to join John Paul in the recording room and hide from Robert. The stairs were so close and so persuading....

I cleared my throat and continued toward the front door, my heart hammering. I was sure Robert would see it pounding heavily and I tried desperately to make it stop, but it wouldn't and I grew more and more nervous. Naturally I wasn't a nervous date, but with Robert around, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't want anything to happen that might jeopardize our friendship, and moreover, I didn't want Jimmy to suspect I had a thing for anyone else but him. As I neared the door, I heard Robert call from the hall on the other side of the stairs, "Go ahead and get in the car, Jen! I'll be out in five!"

Doing as I was told, I trekked to the door and before I could open it, the devil-designed knocker rapped on the door outside and the door swung open. My heart nearly stopped and soon calmed as I recognized the familiar and handsome face that stood in the doorway. Those dark eyes, black hair-- which, as I had only realized, I was a sucker for-- cut in an edgy Velvet Underground fashion, the patterned Renaissance style blouse (Oh! what were those called?), the tight pink chino trousers with Chelsea/Beatle Boots, that flowery scarf-ascot that matched nothing of the ensemble, the all-around outfit of a person from the last decade: Donovan.

We stood there for a moment, searching each other's eyes for any sort of indication that one of us would move, which neither did. My lips parted some-what, ready to greet him, but I couldn't speak. He was the most handsome man I had ever met, besides Jimmy and Keith Moon, and Paul McCartney didn't count because I had never met him. Finally, noticing the awkward tension building, I moved aside and let Donovan inside.

"Good afternoon, Ma'am," his sweet, thick Scot accent carried through the air, making me swoon. "You wouldn't know where Jim might be, do you?"

"He's..." Oh, drat! Where was he? "He may be in the living room or in his bedroom. I could check for you, Mister--"

"Leitch. Please-- just call me Donovan. If you could escort me to his bedroom, please. I can see you're dying to lead me somewhere."

"Pardon?" I snapped indignantly. This was why I couldn't keep a boyfriend-- I was too fierce and quick to the draw. But Donovan seemed impressed by my hiss rather than offended. He grinned and entered the house fully, taking in the foyer like everyone who ever visited did. The gold light was always what first caught the guests. "Well, just for that, Mister Donovan, I'll find Jim and you can just wait here."

"Very well," Donovan grinned wider, his tone sounding as if he was hiding something. As I began to walk toward the stairs, I glanced back at him.

"You didn't want to go looking for him at all now did you, little man?" I asked, seeing through him. He tossed his head back and laughed. "Very well, you go check the living room  I've have none of that cheekiness from a man I hardly know, let alone a Scot." Donovan's eyes flickered with an unreadable emotion.

Just then, both Robert and Jimmy exited the living room, obviously having cut an important conversation short just in time to see the two people in the foyer. I wondered if it had been about me. Donovan's eyes, previously having been locked on me, now searched Jimmy. Donovan turned and walked toward Jimmy with a chipper expression. They took hands and shook vigorously, smiling and greeting each other.

"How is your wife?" Jimmy asked as the two separated hands. He was grinning like a fool and Robert seemed to be lost in thought.

Donovan threw a fixed glimpse at me, and replied steadily, "Please, Jim, not in front of the pretty unmarried lady. But for your benefit, she's well. Three years this year, she and I."

"Congrats!" Jimmy exclaimed. "I haven't a clue in all my life where My Lady is, neither Scarlet. Dear, dear Scarlet. My Lady has her somewhere and Rob's been dying to see her lately; a baby play-day with her and Karac Pendragon and Jason, Bon's son. She's around two, I believe."

Jimmy was married? I thought. At this time, Robert escorted me out of the manor, but not before I sent a final glower Donovan's way. He seemed thoroughly unaffected and instead stared at me over his shoulder with seductive heavy lids.

♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

I knew Robert was talking, but I wasn't listening. I was thinking-- fantasizing, rather-- about Donovan and that look of pure interest in his eyes. He undoubtedly equally as handsome, as mysterious, as fashionable as Jimmy, as hard as it was to admit, and he would surely be equip enough to take Jimmy's place, considering how Jimmy seemed altogether uninterested in her.

"Jen?" Robert asked, concerned. I blinked back to earth and faced him sweetly. I placed my hand on his left thigh and he smiled. 

"Do you like me like a girlfriend?" I asked incredulously.

"I...." I muttered, not taking his eyes from the road. "Do you think of me as a beaux?"

"No."

Now he eyed me. "Oh thank God!" He laughed obnoxiously. "So this was just Bianca's doings?"

"Completely," I sighed with relief. "Can we still go to lunch in London?"

"Why not? Bianca would kill us if we came home early because she's the bleeding boss. She wants us to have sex tonight or something wholesome and sensible." He gave me a humorous glance and I retracted my hand. "We'll just tell her we felt more like.. like--"

"Brother and sister!"

"Precisely! Besides, you like Jimmy, don't you?"

A surge of embarrassment, pride, and dignity swept through me like the tides of an ocean and I snapped, "How did you know?", my cheeks becoming red.

Robert laughed again. "It's only obvious. You talk to me about the lad all the time, I'd be damned if I hadn't figured it out by now. I also noticed a little spark between you and the Scot a bit ago."

"Donovan Leitch."

"I know who he is. It's your own self that felt the need for everyone to know his name. That gives it away right there. But no need to worry, dear, your secrets are beyond safe with me. I may be Jimmy's best mate first, but I never go back on my word."

"Oh, thank you Rob! That means a lot. If Bianca found out how I felt about Jim-Jam, she'd never want to be my friend again, and neither Cynthia nor Florence nor Pamela-- Bonham-- are as good a friend as she is."